He slowly raises a hand and wipes his chin. He leans over and slaps me so hard it leaves a red mark on my cheek.
" You're already there. "
He rose to his feet.
" That'll teach you.... so will this. "
The men aside him walk over and raise me to my feet while he walks away.
" No, No, Nooo!... "
They drag me over to the fire and make me kneel before it. I cry once again, staring at my crush and a dead friend. The African American girl walks over and pushes me onto my back.
" Ah... Oww.. oww. "
She walks over with her blade in hand and sits on top of me.
" It's a shame Natalie's gone. "
She grinds on me.
" Ahhh! "
She pauses and stares into my eyes.
" You know, Natalie got around. She was always hanging around the frat. Doing things you could never even imagine. She never loved or even liked you. Matter of fact, she made fun of you when you talked to her in class. Do you really think she laughed because she was interested? Please, she plays with every guy she meets. She... was... loyal to the frat. Then she lost her shit and talked to losers like you. "
" It's a lie! She would never. "
" Really? How come we're more than friends. Oh yeah, I bet you did not know the other side of her. The side that worships the Devil like us and has homosexual sex. Too bad you are straight. Guess you will have to be satisfied with girls like me. "
She grinds me some more but I take no interest in it and only cry.
" You know, Satan, our father, loves un-consexual sex. Especially when it is bi-racial and sexy as Hell. "
" Stoop! "
" No, Satan loves this too much. "
She continues to grind me, but I look all around me. Almost every tree encompassing, they carved with an upside-down cross or a pentagram. I look between a tree with a pentagram and an upside-down cross and throw her off of me. I run towards the trees.
I run until my heart threatens to give out, and then I hide behind a bush. I try to catch my breath but fail to as it continues to wheeze and cough. I can hide the latter when they finally arrive but cover my mouth as they search me out.,
" He has got to be around here somewhere! Keep looking!"
I poke my head around the bush to see them looking at every brush and tree.
I catch my breath, then stand up and sprint away.
" There he is!
I run until my heat threatens to give out. I run until I run out of breath. Then it comes to me. I am prepared for them. As a matter of fact. I have been prepared for this ever since I was sixteen when my father let me use his rife to catch my first buck,
Of ourece, he aimed the rifle and shot it, However, having the rifle in my hands I felt the power of God. I no longer felt insifnigant despite my parent's constant fights. I felt the full realization of life and the circle.
I see another tree I hide behind. Thank God, I am skinny and have almost no meat on my bones. If I did, they would surely see me cowering behind the skinny tree I was hiding behind. I see a fluttering of lights behind me and am tempted to turn around.
When I do, I see frenzied flashlights that tempt to me to turn around. Instead, I only turn my back to them and look around again. Everyone is looking all around. All around expect the tree I stand behind. When one approaches, I hide my face and try to catch my breath.
When I finally do, I turn to see they are all missing. I see something emerging from the darkness, but cannot make it out. It is as extensive as an army, but moving as slowly as a sloth. When I turn around one more time, they step forward in synchronicity.
I hide behind the bush, trying to catch my racing breath and heart. I fail to and let them overtake me. Like the army behind me, I turn to see. They step forward together as one. I take a step back and they take a step forward.
It was as if they were a mirror doing the opposite of me. Because as I sprinted away, they sprinted after me. I keep running and running until my heart almost gives out. Ahead of me I see a lake. I run towards with my goal set on meeting it.
When I finally do, the water sploshes up all around me as I sink deeper and deeper into the water. Eventually, I am overcome with the water that is now up to my neck as the army following me seems to float upon it.
I turn back to see water splashing around their feet. Then I see their jaws drop to their chests and turn and sprint even faster. However, as I sprint, I trip on something beneath the water. It is a rock.
I trip and fall into the water, sinking deeper and deeper... Until I become estranged to the world around me.
It has become pitch dark without light for miles. The darkness so comforting it makes me want to start for a while. I fall deeper and deeper until the darkness is all I know. I have no chance to seek better and grow.
Then I stop falling and fall right to my feet. This all feels like a memory on repeat. I look to my feet, drenched in tar-like water. Is this Hell? Is this Heaven? Will I ever know... I do not my brethren.
Then I finally fall to my feet. I feel, giving out as I stop and recognize my feat. I sink deeper and deeper into the tar pit of my ways.
The darkness consumes me until I found myself in a doorway. The door was blood red, and I slowly reached out my hand to open it. When I opened it, I found my old room and an old me sitting at the window with his hand against the window. A red light poured into the room. I looked outside to see a red light flooding into the room.
I float over to a younger version of himself, sitting with a girl at the party. I can see myself bathing in a bath of blood with her riding me. She baptizes herself in the blood and I fall back into sight…
Blood drips from her lips, and blood pours into my room from the window. I inch closer and closer to a younger version of myself and blood paints the window he sits before. It is as if I am floating closer... and closer to him. Then he turns around.
I am terrified as he leaves his palm resting against the window. I try to catch my breath but is of no use. I look at my hands and see they are not even there. I look back to myself, who removes his hand from the window. Leaving a hazy stain upon the window and my heart.
I look back to the window, and the haze slowly disappears. However, what appears beyond my recognition and my wildest dreams?
It is the face of my deceased college crush. Staring at me as she did, resting upon the fire. I look away, but I can not as she stares into my soul. Her jaw moves slightly than is as wide as the woman in my nightmares. The woman I saw at that "art" exhibit. I am scared to death she might see me.
When she does, she shrills out a cry louder than my memories of Natalie. Her jaw hangs low and her eyes soulless and vacant. I try to look away, but I can't. Her shrill pierces my ears like a blade. Thinking of all my troubles and the times I was dismayed.
Her smile still melts my heart, as does her sorrowful stare. I see the pain in her eyes, as if I was not even there. I can't stop looking, but cannot help to back up. As I step backward, I look into the mirror to see myself messed up. i see the corpse of a man who once loved a girl. The corpse of a man who had it all....
I come back to reality but is all too soon. I am chased out of my dream by a former version of myself. A self that loved a girl. A self that prayed she would lookup. A self that placated himself by a window he wished he could break. A self that loved her...
I open my eyes to see her dead, tied up on a stick. I wish I had the chance to love her. I wish I had the chance to stick. But now I am running from myself and a cult of evil deviants themselves.
I push past one branch that snaps back and leaves a mark. Just like that cult that left a scar that can never be removed. I miss her. I miss my best friend. Even more so, I miss all the times we shared that are now roasting upon a fire.
Am I the reason she is dead?... No, I can't be. I did everything I could and loved her with every fiber of my heart. Why did it have to end this way? If only I could be with her now. He is lying. There is no way I am the reason she is gone.
It's their fault. Yeah, it is. I miss her, but they are the reason she is gone. Not because I am awkward. Not because the best I could do was talk to her. Not because she likely did not even love me... I always did.
I keep running and running until I cannot anymore. Then, before I know it, I run into an open door. Behind that door lies a late-night jogger running upon the trial. I run into him, looking back.
He falls to the ground, as do I without a sound. I look back and they are still hot on my trail. Threatening to unfural, I mean they already took my girl.
The man finally speaks up removing a headphone bud.
"What the hell, man?"
He looks behind me to see the army chasing me. He scurries onto his feet then runs to his car with me following closely behind.
" Wait, man! They are going to kill me!"
We arrive at his car, and he goes into a frenzy, trying to open his car. As he is about to step inside, I cry out.
"Wait1 I will pay you."
I open my wallet, revealing at least five hundred dollars.
"Get in. "
He opens the passenger side door, and I step inside and immediately lock the door. We speed away and I stare into the rearview as it halted the army at the road. As if it was poisonous, as if it was in a way set out to foroad...
Till next time.
- Matt Gorrell